newrecipe | EMPATHEIAS: Mailbox

[He smiles again, bowing his head slightly as he feels Steven's lips brush against the back of his hand, feeling his heart swell in response. As supportive as his friends had all been in the wake of his injury, as infinitely grateful as he was for all of them, there's something about having a partner in all this that makes him feel especially fortunate.]

I love you.

[The words are beginning to come more easily now, slipping naturally into conversation. It's the only response that comes to mind, immediate and heartfelt.]

[ if there's a way that his being close to ignis can help him in a way that others can't, then steven would consider it an honour. their relationship has been a learning experience for him, and he's long past the understanding that the other man is incredibly special to him. what they have can't be easily replicated, and can likely never be replaced.

even if he was the first to confess it only a short week ago, hearing the word out loud still brings a pleasant flutter to steven's chest. it's yet another confirmation of their bond, and the shared emotions that it consists of. ]

And I love you.

[ he can't recall the last time he said those words to someone before ignis. it almost feels new - maybe that's a little sad, but he welcomes the sensation as it is.

he laces their fingers together loosely, his gaze filled with nothing less than adoration as he looks past the dark lenses of his glasses and into his eyes. even if ignis can't see him anymore, he can only hope that his emotions communicate the sentiment. ]

Shall we retire for the night?

[To be perfectly frank, Ignis isn't certain he's ever said those particular words to anyone-- not in a romantic sense, with no relationship ever having been given the opportunity to bloom into something meaningful. His attention had always been elsewhere, and he'd always found himself unable to offer any partner the time and dedication that he felt they deserved-- but now that he and Steven have found their way here, he intends to do everything within his power to preserve and protect what they have, to enjoy their time together for everything it's worth.

He nods, setting his now-empty cup down on the table, allowing their fingers to remain entangled.]

I'd like that.

[Even without being able to see him, he knows that Steven's focus is entirely on him.]

It may be a bit early, but I'd say we're both due for an early night.

[He doubts Steven has been sleeping terribly well this past week, either.]

[ that deduction isn’t far off at all. even at a somewhat early, he finds the idea of sleep incredibly enticing. factor ignis into the equation, and this might be the first good night’s rest he’s had in more than a week. ]

We are. The more time we have to relax, the better.

[ he gives his hand another momentary squeeze before pulling away, taking the opportunity to move their cups to the sink. once he has, his touch is right back on him as he links himself onto ignis’ left arm. he leaves the right one free for him to take his cane, but steven will be the one to lead them to his room.

were he to be completely honest, he’s looking forward to being able to lie down with him again. ]

[Were he with anyone else, Ignis would have insisted on making his way to his room without assistance, determined as he was to navigate independently and work his way towards doing it without incident-- but with Steven, there's no argument or correction, and he gladly allows his arm to be taken as he reaches for his cane with his free hand, fingers curling around the handle in a way that's already become second nature, the cane becoming an extension of himself. He allows himself to be walked, the linking of their arms reminiscent of so many of their evening walks home from the restaurant. This is a much shorter trip, but he's grateful for the familiarity-- he's deeply missed spending the better part of their evenings together this past week.

When they arrive at his room, Steven will find that very little about it has changed. The armchair near the window has had its angle slightly adjusted, but everything else about the room is as it's always been-- everything neatly in its place, with the paths from the door to the bed, closet and bathroom all clear. The bed isn't made quite as impeccably as it normally is, but still manages to be impressively neat, given the state Ignis must have been in while making it.]

We'll have our privacy-- Kain is enjoying spending his evenings out back while it's still warm enough to do so.

[ it's less that he takes his arm for guidance and more because he just wants to be close to ignis. he's missed this more than he cares to admit, but he's sure that his partner understands.

though there are some subtle differences, the room is a familiarity that he's happy to come back to. he lets go of his arm when they arrive, chuckling lightly at his words as he shrugs off his blazer. ]

Then my space lives to see another day.

[ not that he was worried about kain replacing him, but the idea is amusing. ]

[Ignis smirks faintly, having removed his own jacket earlier in the day, but proceeding to rid himself of his shoes and belt now, having carefully made his way over to the armchair where he had sleepwear laid out for himself already, propping his cane against the arm.]

Should it come down to physical combat over who gets it in the end, I promise I'll be on your side. Kain may be affectionate, but he tends to hog the covers.

[He has to view this from a practical angle.]

I'm glad to know I'll have the upper hand.

[ leave it to ignis to be so prepared. he's ready to step in should it appear that he's struggling, but opts to simply keep an eye out for the time being as he disrobes himself and hangs his clothes accordingly with hangers from ignis' closet. folds and wrinkles are unbecoming! ]

I'll admit, there's a great deal of bias involved.

[As it turns out, this much, Ignis has mastered already-- dressing and undressing don't require much as far as vision goes, and his impeccable organization made it generally easy to find what he needed, though he tended to leave things out and ready whenever possible in order to save himself fumbling later. He unbuttons his shirt easily, the motion second-nature as it's always been, though in shrugging it off, the scarring near the base of his neck and across his left shoulder become visible, the first opportunity Steven has had to see either since his return.]

[ steven expects that much of ignis - he knows that he wouldn't dare to stay idle for long, itching to relearn his routine. it's altered slightly from how things were before his injury, but it works just as well. it draws a smile from him, and he can't help but sneak a look at his partner undressing.

what isn't expected is what steven sees when ignis shrugs off his crisp dress shirt, only to reveal more scarring over his body. though he makes no sound, his eyes widen slightly as he quietly crosses the room and puts a hand to his waist - notably on his right side, to avoid touching any of the scar tissue. he sighs, tracing it with his gaze. ]

I didn't know it was this extensive.

[He's learned to pick up on even carpeted footfalls well enough that Steven's sudden appearance at his side isn't a surprise, and even without being able to follow his gaze, Ignis knows exactly where he must be looking. He pauses, resting a hand over the one that's been placed against his waist.]

It doesn't pain me any longer.

[It's not quite as sensitive as the marks left on his face-- those wounds have closed, but they have ways of reminding him of their presence throughout the day.]

I should have warned you. I didn't think of it.

[ knowing that there's no pain is a relief, but it doesn't do much to alleviate the worry as to just what it was that ignis went through. he still keeps his questions to himself with the knowledge that his partner will tell him when he's ready, but the idea of him suffering so much... it breaks his heart. ]

You don't have an obligation to. I'm just glad they've healed.

[ the pattern looks jagged and rough, just as it does on his eye. the hand on his waist tightens slightly, hoping to be a reassuring touch... though ignis might insist he isn't glass, he's still afraid of somehow unintentionally hurting him. ]

[Ignis shakes his head slightly, sliding his free arm around Steven's waist in order to pull himself closer, knowing the way they fit together well enough that he's able to lean in and press a soft kiss against his lips, as affectionate as it is apologetic. It's been a difficult week, spending as much time apart as they have.]

It's not about obligation.

[Just as Steven had told him on his first day back.]

I thought we agreed not to use that word.

[ there's no resistance when he's pulled closer, and the kiss is reciprocated just as gently as ignis initiates it. his own free hand gently traces his jawline, still careful not to put pressure on any of the muscles on his face.

when they break apart, it's only by an inch. even now, he wants to be as close to ignis as he can. ]

You're right. I'm sorry.

[ he manages a small smile. it's true - nothing between them should be considered an obligation, and it applies to both of them. ]

[He leans slightly into Steven's touch, the light trace of his fingers more pronounced for his inability to see. Of all the things that he's had to get used to, the heightened sense of touch has been both the most jarring and the most pleasant.

His arm remains securely around Steven's waist for a moment before he lets his hand come to rest at the small of his back.]

No apology necessary.

[He smiles in turn, thinking he can hear the faintest trace of one in Steven's voice.]

I'm just glad you're here with me. The scars don't matter-- I'm grateful to be alive and to have the opportunity to spend time with you once more.

[His voice is just slightly unsteady; he's still a bit self-conscious about how he must look, but he doesn't want to admit as much. He's had a number of people assure him that he looks 'rugged' now, that the scars don't detract, but while he doesn't consider himself a vain man, it's difficult for him to swallow just how much he must have changed.]

[ being able to bring about and see that smile from ignis means quite a bit to steven. it's a small indicator that things are slowly but surely getting better, and that ignis will be back to his regular demeanor in time. those smiles deserve to be treasured and protected.

somehow, he finds his cheeks flushing at the last part of that sentence. even after all that's happened, ignis still holds time with him at such a high priority... it's disarming and downright flattering, but more than that, it's filled with an undeniable devotion.

with all of that in mind, he has to lean in to kiss him again. it's still slow and chaste, but the way that he presses close to him is a little more eager than he was hoping. ]

Your way with words hasn't changed. [ their foreheads touch together, and his own smile is still evident in his tone. ] I'm grateful, too. We have all the time in the world to be together now... That much is certain.

[Ignis gladly leans into the kiss, a contented exhale of breath escaping him as he does so-- now, in this moment, things almost feel like they're back to normal, as though nothing had changed. He supposes that one benefit of his returning injured was that the severity of the situation had forced the both of them to be honest with one another about the reality of their feelings, though he has no doubt they would have made their way there in time. Steven had already proven himself to be beyond loyal, tirelessly dedicated in the face of a situation that would have given many pause.

The kiss breaks, but Ignis doesn't pull away, letting their foreheads rest against one another.]

For that, I'm eternally grateful. I don't intend to waste any of it.

[He's through with wasting time and opportunities. He won't make that mistake with Steven.]

I know you won't. Neither will I.

[ knowing how they feel now, there isn't any reason to waste time. every day, every hour, every minute spent together... it's all precious time that he'll hold close to his heart.

they stay together for a moment before steven opts to move, pressing a short kiss to his forehead. even after all of that, they're still here to get some proper sleep. ]

That being said, I'll let you get dressed.

[ he'll be waiting for him under the sheets. ]

[He smiles faintly, leaning into the press of lips against his brow. The fact that Steven always offers up just the right affirmation when he needs it is just one more thing he's eternally grateful for.]

I'll be along presently.

[He's good to his word; it doesn't take him long to undress, carefully draping his day clothes over the back of the chair to be dealt with the following day-- though his movements are notably slower than they once were, far more concentrated. Even with the practice he's put in and the use of his muscle memory, it still takes a certain degree of care to undress and slip into his sleepwear: a sensible-looking pair of slate blue silk bottoms that have a matching top somewhere, though he isn't terribly concerned with that part. Still, he does it all on his own, and the last thing he does before settling onto the side of the mattress is rest his cane against the nightstand for easy access.

The next thing to go are his glasses. Even though Steven has already seen him without them a handful of times, he's still slightly hesitant in their removal, folding them and neatly setting them beside his lamp. He slips between the sheets a moment later, exhaling slowly.]

Much more like it. It's been lonely this past week.

[ though he’d like to have ignis at his side sooner rather than later, he makes no move to rush him. instead, he opts to watch him go about his routine in silence, observing the method at which he moves. it’s incredible to see how he’s adapted this quickly, even if precision hasn’t quite been reached. to know that he’s well on the road to normalcy makes steven’s heart swell with pride and hope for his partner.

he’s already slipped his rings off and set them with his own clothing, so there’s no hesitation in the way that his arm slips around ignis’ waist once they’re both under the sheets. it brings them a bit closer than they already are, but his touch begs for nothing other than gentle reassurance of his presence. ]

I’m sorry if I seemed too distant. I didn’t want to overwhelm you...

[Ignis shakes his head in response, gladly pulling himself close and putting an arm around Steven's waist in turn-- concerns of his own restlessness and sensory discomfort troubling his partner are gone for the moment, and he seizes the opportunity to enjoy their closeness. Too many nights without it has made him heartsick for it-- it's been so much longer than he'd first thought, when he factors in the time he spent at home.]

Nonsense. I'm the one who asked for space. You respected that.

[He pauses, leaning in to press a kiss against Steven's brow. He doesn't need to be able to see him to manage it; it's a display of affection that's been second nature for some time now.]

I hope you realize... it wasn't because I didn't want you here.

[ at this point, there isn't much ignis could do that would truly disturb him. they're slowly re-acquainting themselves with each other's touch, and that means both having patience and not worrying about trivial concerns.

he doesn't pull away when ignis kisses at his brow, nuzzling close to him. as selfish as it feels, he's missed this. ]

I do. You have plenty of things to re-acclimatize to... I would have waited for as long as you needed.

I'm still not certain what it is I need.

[There's a note of fondness in his voice even as he admits such. Whether it be time or space, he's had enough of the latter for now. His hold on Steven's waist closes a bit, and he can't help smiling to himself as Steven himself inches closer. Many nights, they would both find themselves with a wyvern sprawled across their feet, but tonight, it's just the two of them.]

But I appreciate how willing you are to ensure I have it.

I feel as though it's all I can do for you at the moment...

[ he doesn't really feel like he's doing anything besides making sure that ignis knows he's around, but maybe that's enough for the time being. he'll have to learn and adjust accordingly as his partner does, but it's a challenge that he's more than willing to face with him.

now that ignis has a proper hold around him, his hand trails up to brush a loose strand of hair behind his ear. it's a gesture with a soft, intimate touch of its own - though ignis can't see him, steven isn't shying away from facing his eyes head-on. he's close enough that he can study the extent of his scars, slowly hoping to replace the fear of accidentally harming him with a renewed appreciation of how beautiful he is. ]

I'm sure it will become clear in time. I have the utmost faith in you.

It's more than enough.

[Even if Steven feels that he's done little, the support itself has value beyond words. Ignis has never done well with accepting assistance or aid of any kind, and he has no stomach for pity, but Steven-- along with his friends, his family-- had been good enough to simply ensure that he knew they were there.

It made an enormous difference.

He only flinches very slightly when Steven brushes his hair back-- it had been unexpected, but he leans into the touch just the tiniest bit to make sure that Steven knows it's welcome.]

Far be it from me to disappoint. [He smiles wryly, his tone tired but good-natured.] I have always made every effort to live up to the expectations set for me.

EMPATHEIAS: Mailbox

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